Cat’s out of the bag! I’m turning 40 today.
*Cue the string quartet and mid-life crisis montage*
Remember when the 40th Birthday was an “Over the Hill” party? The invitations implied that one had officially reached the half-way point of life and now it was all downhill toward our inevitable death. The balloons were black that the rest of the decor was Cemetery themed.
*Sounds real light-hearted*
I remember being young, seeing those decorations, and thinking that those people were so old, they were about to die.
My mortality has been staring at me lately. I think my mid-life crisis is going to be health related.
Living with an Autoimmune disease puts me on the short list for earlier than necessary departure, combine that with being overweight and you get a deadly combination. Mine has also disabled me physically.
I don’t let it get me down as much anymore. It has become normal life and I have adapted. I have learned to accommodate my life. I have to thank my husband for this though. He knows I have a hard time asking for help and is so patient. Whatever he is doing, he is never too busy to help me when I do ask for help. He is also instrumental in making my dreams come true. If he hears of something that I want, he tries to make it happen. I am so blessed to be so loved.
It is hard to believe that a year has passed since my hospitalization. Thirty-nine was a hard year. I attempted to take my own life, ended up in a mental hospital, was released too early, took my new and old meds in an improper combination, then proceeded to go completely out of my mind.
I am not proud of any of it.
My family forgave me, and we moved on with our lives, but it is hard to forget that fateful day when it is encompassed in my birthday. It puts a bit of a dark shade over the day. I am hoping that with time, eventually I will have a nice birthday again.
I am not the person I was. I will not be that person ever again.
So, I look forward to the next chapter of my life with an open heart and mind. I accept what comes with Gratitude, give and receive Love, and watch for Opportunity to strike. I am living the GLO.
Are you?
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